One of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves is to learn how to forgive.
In the process, we can release those around us from their mistakes, and we can move forward with a clear heart and a lighter load.
The world around us seems to be more and more relentless, casting aside everyone who ever dares to step off the main path. Every day, we hear stories of people who have wronged others, and regardless of the size and scope of the wrong, there is such a rush to come against them and place them up on a pedestal as an example. There is rarely talk of redemption, and even worse, there is often flailing accusation and rebuke by so many, far before the details are completely unearthed!
I think everyone has had at least one time where they were emotionally hurt by someone. When we are thrust into that position, we need to decide, “How long do I have to carry this burden?”
The choice is truly ours.
It takes strength to come to the other side of hurt, but the sooner we get there, the better it is for our souls. As Christians we are called to forgive one another.
We know the right decision is to forgive, but there are times when it is difficult.
Why is it that forgiveness seems so hard? Is it possible that we hold onto those feelings because we haven’t quite worked through them yet? Do we hold on to them to secretly hold the person accountable in our hearts? Or is it simply because we don’t really know how to release those feelings?
The things that have happened to us are part of our story.
Our healing can be a testimony to the strength and beauty of God’s grace, or we can allow the pain to eat us alive until there is nothing left of our former self because we allowed the “ick” to grow inside our heart. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? It IS awful.
I remember a time that I was walking through a struggle trying to forgive someone for something they did to me. I remember it was taking forEVER for those feelings to subside, and I recall having this horrible picture come into my mind. It was a picture of a rubber toy that had been left outside and was all cleaned up on the outside, but on the inside, was completely covered in black “ISH.” l knew that’s how my heart was feeling, and I just began to sob.
It was then that I realized how necessary it was to get through the process that lead ultimately to forgiveness.
Sometimes forgiveness is ongoing. But, remembering that it hurts us to hang on to that hurt can help lead us to a place where we put it all back in God’s hands, again and again until we are free. Letting go of the things that hurt our hearts is absolutely necessary to moving on with our lives. It is for our own good.
The Bible says:
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Neither give place to the devil.
Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:26-32 KJV
What a beautiful passage. It begins with instruction, followed by a warning, followed by more instruction of how to treat each other, ending with a reminder that we too have been forgiven by our Heavenly Father.
For me, prayer is a pivotal part in the journey to forgive.
The Psalms are full of honest feelings poured out to God. We can come to him with our struggles. We can tell Him how much we hurt, and we can talk to Him while we work through the feelings we are feeling.
He is always there.
He is the one who restores, and prayer can bring a sense of relief from feelings that are holding us back. Sometimes we don’t know how much we’re hurting until we begin to cry out to Him, and on the other side of the release, there is freedom.
While we may not come to a place where a relationship is fully restored, we can come to a healthy place of forgiveness, and we can stop holding that person accountable for something that we have forgiven them for in our hearts.
DISCLAIMER:
This blog is written by the site owner, and is my personal opinion. It is not intended to be taken as health, medical, legal, marital, parenting, personal or financial advice.
I am not a professional counselor, coach, doctor or health professional. I am not a legal professional nor should my views be consider legal advice in any way.
